I guess I never really considered myself “cheap” until I started planning this wedding – now every time I see a price tag I gasp, exclaim, and act overly dramatic.. pointing feverishly at the tag. It’s a coincidence that I went dress shopping this past weekend and then found this article on NPR about a chick who, after spending a lot on a wedding dress, decided to find out why her dress cost so much.  I think it all just points to a systemic problem that everything associated with “wedding” is exorbitantly priced.

I watch shows like “Say Yes! to the Dress” with the same level of appalling disgust that I feel when watching Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials. The show flashes on my TV screen and I grab the remote so fast it fumbles out of my hand, halfway in the air I am able to hit any arrow button so that it all goes away before the images are imprinted in my brain.  But then, like a train wreck, I go back to it just to bear witness… to know that there are forces on this earth greater than us and believe that somewhere beneath all the horror there is a message about the sanctity of life.  Then, I crack open a bag of Cheetos and go to town.

I get chills when I hear someone exclaim “it’s peerrrrrfeeect” or “I’m a Preeeencessss” in an incessant high-pitched squeal and then the dress consultant is all like “I think we have a Yesssss for that Dresssss”.  Then they pan out to show the friends and family of the preeencess overcome by joy, emotion and tears. Tears!!

Like, I get it, it’s an emotional time when one gets married, but this bratty B has been trying on dresses for the last 6 hours, saying “No!” to a bunch of shit that looked just liked the one she picked, then she is finally ready to say “Yes!” because she finally found the one that costs more than a down payment on a house. So all teary-eyed, she looks over at her dad and he whispers “anything you want, it’s yours” and then there are more tears. Meanwhile, if you look closely into his eyes you can see him calculating how he will get a second mortgage on his house in order to pay for, like, a $6,000 dress. This chick, pictured below, is the Original Gangster of brides.

I went dress shopping over the weekend. I pick one dress with a “poofy bottom” that looks nice in the bag. I walk into a dressing room that’s about the size of my old apartment in NY. The bag is unzipped and the dress is placed strategically over my head. Industrial grips are used to fasten the dress to my bodice. The saleswoman starts pulling the tulle out from underneath and before I know it the whole room is covered in the dress, the diameter of the “poof” is about 11 feet leaving very little space for people to move around me. That one was an obvious “No!”. I suppose I will have to decide very soon, not only does it take a long time for the dress shipment, but apparently I’ll also need to pick my cake to match my dress.

Let me end this post by saying I think it is a wonderful thing, that on ones wedding day, us ladies really do get to be a ‘princess for a day’. I have come to realize that this experience is not because of what you wear, how much you spend, or how perfect you can make the wedding, but because everyone comes together as a community to celebrate you, your families and a huge life change.  I am really shocked, honored and humbled by the amount of generosity that has come pouring through to me since I got engaged.